These 2 Ramble topics are related...as I LOVE holidays!

I've just spent a week in Alcudia, Majorca with Lucy, my Mum and my Nan - The 4 generations! It was REALLY lovely - Warm - No work - Special times with my family. My Nan (My Mum's Mum - Me and lots of my friends fondly refer to her as Nana Pat even though her name is Mary - She had short hair and a Pat Butcher mac which earnt her this nickname!) is the light of my life - Words can barely describe how much I love her. She epitomises hard work - She manages her finances so wisely and she totally utterly adores her family - She has 2 girls - My Mum and my Aunt and she lives for them - She's been married to my 'Grumpy Grandad' and seen through the commitment she made to him and her family with a smile and a joke and, on the odd occassion a profanity which always causes a lot of amusement and sometimes a little offence!! She always ALWAYS puts other needs before her own - ALWAYS - at her own expense most of the time. My Grandad is ill and in hospital and will more than like go into a home - I pray that, somehow, despite various illness' and dementia, he realises how very lucky he is to have such an amazing generous woman in his life who's sacrificed so much to take care of him, especially recently. I HAVE to hope that his marriage to my Nan and his life as a parent has all been in 'the plan', he couldn't have ever told you anything about his family - I'm not sure he knows what his own daughters do for a living and where they live and couldn't name any of his Grandchildren or Great Grandchild. It's a HUGE shame. Depiste this, I still pray, mainly for my Nan and I am so fiercly protective over this wonderful woman - I would do ANYTHING for her and I pray that she's enjoying the rest whilst he's being cared for in the hospital and can devote some time to herself, I think she's earnt it!!
Went off on a tangent there but you get the picture!

We have a Great time away and onto the next thing which, next weekend, is the Big Church Day Out weekend - Me and Lucy are going along with other people from my church and, this will be the third year we've been and the first year we've done the whole weekend complete with camping :) It's ALWAYS brilliant with amazing Family fun and terrific worship with AMAZING acts from all over.

Things I love - In no particular order - God, Family and Friends, Music - My life has a soundtrack - I can relate pretty much every memory I have to a song and just love singing and dancing - I don't think this will EVER change - I have THE most eclectic mix on my iTunes EVER - From Dolly Parton to Kanye West to Fun. to Matt Redman to Take That. To say it's slightly Bipolar would be an understatement! - The water - I LOVE the sound of water on a beach - I LOVE swimming - especially when you can have a dip on holiday to cool off - The amazing relaxation to be sought in a warm bath with lovely smellies and then being wrapped in a warm fluffy towel before dozing to sleep - Day-time naps - I call them 'Nana Naps' and I have them most weekends when I've not got Lucy as she's at her Dads - There is a routine around these - I put on a 'slow' film I've seen many time and I get my snuggly fleecy blankie out and I crash on the sofa - BLISS! - Weddings - LOVE weddings - LOVE seeing my friends happy and having a dance and embracing the happiness of sharing such special times with friends and family. Reading - I read EVERY night - In 2 parts - I have my little time when I pray specifically and I read some of my Bible and I write in my journal - Sometimes I don't do all 3 but I spend that time with God and it's very special and important to me. Then I read before I nod off - Like my taste in music it's a little random - I LOVE reading Autobiographies and 'Real stories' - Also a bit of chick lit - Also some Dean Koontz or Lee Child - I have about 5 books 'on the go' at the moment so it can be mood dependant which one I pick up on an evening!!

Sufficiently 'Rambly'? I think so!! x

Be Real!

That moment when a friend or fellow Mummy says "Hi, How are you?" You have a choice here, you can either go with "Fine" and go about your business, which can be acceptable as sometimes we need to get to work or elsewhere and don't have the time to embark on a conversation.....But instead of saying "Fine" you could say "Shattered actually and I nearly sold my daughter to the gypsies last night, how about you?!" I've had a lot of conversations of late where a parent has been embarrassed because their child has done something 'naughty' at school and been reprimanded or they've said something 'shocking' (there are varying degrees of this from "Fart" to "F off Mum"!!!) I URGE parents to share this kind of thing far more often as more often than not something happens with our children and we beat ourselves up about it and can find ourselves thinking "I bet * doesn't behave like that" and "I'm SURE * doesn't speak to her Mum like that", What on earth am I doing that's so wrong? But actually, I've discovered through having some very 'REAL' friends and conversations with fellow parents, we ALL go through these scenarios with our children, sometimes it's constant and relentless and other times we're lucky and it's only once a day!
Here's a tiny snippet of situations I've experienced personally with my own daughter - Cutting her own hair, cutting the bristles off all the paintbrushes in her classroom, spraying water all over the school toilet resulting in standing outside the headmistress' office having only been in school for 2 months, Cutting the end of a budgies tail off (the budgie did survive I'm pleased to say), Pulling a radiator off the wall not in her own home, lying ALL THE TIME, never EVER wanting to do any homework EVER. And those are just for starters. But we so rarely share these things with other people, especially other Mums. I've seen a friends face full of SO much relief when they realise it's not just them and they're not on their own and all other children bar their own are impeccably behaved always. My daughter isn't, contrary to what I've highlighted above, a monster. Far from it actually. She's beautiful, she's confident, she's ever so funny and she's doing brilliantly at school, she loves reading and she loves horse riding and adores performing and having an audience. They're only human and they will only learn by making mistakes and by pushing their luck.
I have the added complication of dealing with these downs as well as the ups on my own as a single parent family. There are massive pros and cons to my situation. A pro being I can do what I like when I like with Lucy and don't have anyone Else's plans or opinions to consult with beforehand. A con being I can never say "Ask you father" or "Wait 'til your Dad gets home" For the most part I'm OK with my little unit but with my depression sometimes I can hit a bump in the road and the smallest thing can set me off and this then has a knock on effect on where the 'end of my tether' is! This obviously isn't unique to me or the fact I suffer with depression but it can be magnified and where another person might let their 'other half' take the reigns for the rest of the day/evening, I simply don't have that option.
If we're real with each other then so many people won't be feeling bad about situations they're in and they'll know they're not alone and we all go through some absolutely shocking days and situations with our children and it doesn't mean we're 'bad parents' or that we're doing something horrendously wrong. We're going through the same things as everyone else, regardless of status, and we need to be together on this thing cos' it's not easy!!!
When I take my prayers to God, I've learnt to be real at all times and in all situations. Sometimes I feel I'm going ooooonnnn and oooooonn and ooooooonnn and by the time I'm ready to read or study or write in my journal, God MUST have gone off for a tea break or at the very least changed position as he must have a numb bum...!!!! But actually, God cares about every single teeny tiny situation I'm facing no matter how trivial it might seem or how ashamed I might feel because of something that's happened, something I've thought or said or something I'm not letting go of. I'm extremely proud of my extremely real relationship with God and he gives me such strength, support, reassurance, energy, blessings that even when I'm having the worse day EVER or feel I'm totally totally trapped with no money, energy, patience, parenting ability, he raises me up and I CAN DO THIS! But I can't do it on my own and I am NOT on my own - despite my 'status', I always have God and I have an AWESOME set of family and friends :) I am, in so many ways, SO very blessed!!!
Oh I do go on........That's that Ramble done!! 'Til the next time!! <3 x